Male Modesty Violation Cases
We have listed some cases where patient modesty was not respected
in medical settings. If you have a case where your patient
modesty or wishes for an all same gender team were not respected
and you'd like to share, you can fill out the patient
modesty violation form.
I had checked with a hospital and been assured a male prep nurse would get me ready for a bladder neck transurethral operation. When the female arrived and I informed her of my accommodation she flipped me off and said SHE would be doing it. Had this happened to a female with a male all hell would have broken loose. I was made to feel as if it were insignificant, even though the hospital assured me it was in a facility that large NO PROBLEM to get a male. I now know to REFUSE TREATMENT unless my direction was followed. I was in the OR, and my only alternative would have been to scream GET THE H... OUT...I now wish I had done exactly that. I filed a complaint with the state nursing board and NOT even a reprimand was issued...that despite my verbal direction to the woman, my WRITTEN OUT preference laying on top of my body as she stood over me and the hospital assuring me in advance I would have a male prep nurse. Worse yet-- While I was laying in the OR with legs up in stirrups fully exposed and conscious with a spinal, a woman the nurse knew came in the or and had a conversation with her obviously NOT about me in full sight of me exposed. Now? I WOULD SCREAM MY HEAD OFF..NEVER again will I be subjected to that kind of thing
I was sexually abused by older sister when I was 4, she got in a lot of trouble from my parents and ever afterward projected her own anger and shame on me with physical and emotional abuse until I was twelve and could defend myself. Only then did the abuse stop. My worst fear is being naked and helpless in front of women - welcome to the healthcare system. I went into a deep depression after a previous hernia surgery - told myself it was due to everything but the real reason, I woke up naked with my pubic hair shaved off and also found that I had been catheterized without any knowledge or consent.
Sexual abuse is a gender franchise - granted (many women are victimized) but we totally ignore men like me. We die younger because we don`t want invasive care from the largely female healthcare system. I had an uncle refuse treatment for bladder cancer after a cystoscopy. He could have added ten years or so to his life but chose to die at home with a box that emitted some kind of electronic waves as his only treatment. I miss him like crazy.
I was recommended to meet a new Doctor by two family members. I was taken into the exam room immediately and after my EKG was left sitting one hour listening to the Doctor thru the walls talking to other patients. Finally I heard him at the door and I heard him say oh its a physical. The Doctor did not walk into the room or introduce himself instead he pushed a student into the room laughed about it held up his pointer finger and told the student to remember the finger and walked away. I did not know what to do, do I make a scene, the student was soft spoken and I was more concerned about his feelings so I endured a 50 minute of exam. I realized during the exam he was doing it like a student practicing what he learned in school, I was appalled that a student was allowed to practice a male genital exam and a rectal exam, a complete internal without my consent and with out a doctor being present. When the Doctor finally came in 50 minutes later he sat with his back o me checked off the forms and said :well you have been poked and prodded enough you look healthy take care I am now in therapy dealing with the fact I was reduced to being a specimen for training pictures
I had a heart attack at work and was brought to Yale. The residents were very courteous and relatively concerned about my dignity. Not so the female surgeon who pulled up my gown and left me exposed, fortunately flacid, before several women and med students, all female. One of the residents who came in periodically (male), apparently embarrassed for me, eventually covered my penis with the sterilizing cloth. It was cold and wet and shocked me, but restored some dignity. It disappeared later after the local anesthetic set in and I was again left exposed. The tech (also a female MD) inserting the femoral artery cath for the stent never looked at my face or my genitals, that I noticed, but she had a silly, perhaps embarrassed grin on her face throughout the procedure. I later saw the female surgeon on a return trip to the hospital a month later. I was about to thank her for her help when she dangled her little pinky in the air in apparently reference to my condition at the time. I am fairly large when not flacid so I was mostly amused but, a man with less self esteem might have reacted badly, and a month after a heart attack to intentionally mock a patient shows her to be a very bad doctor and person. She is a Med School instructor as well so I dread what might have been `demonstrated to the `girls` had I been out and not just under a local, is very disconcerting.
I entered St. Luke`s hospital for a follow-up angiogram. the previous angiogram was performed through my right wrist and it was determined by the nursing and physician staff that the same wrist could be prepped and used for this procedure.
Upon entering the operating room (with 4-5 female nurses/technicians present). I was instructed to remove my underware (shorts). I protested since the procedure involved inserting the angiogram in my wrist. The nurse insisted that it was necessary if the wrist was found to be unacceptable by the surgeon, who had already examined and accepted my wrist. I protested again noting that I had suffered childhood trauma regarding exposing my genitals. The nurse insisted that it was necessary and now very embarrased, I removed my underwear from under my hospital gown.
Once on the operating table, another tech lifted my gown and began shaving my groin area with my genitals completely exposed. She had to move my penis with the palm of her hand to complete her site prep. When finished, she pulled up my gown and left my genitals completely exposed to all nursing/tech staff in the room. It was humiliating. After about 5 minutes, of my lying there completely exposed, another tech placed a blue cloth over my genitals, then covered me with sterile sheeting.
This was completely uncalled for and an unforgiveable violation of my privacy.
I had a testicular ultrasound done recently and asked for a male tech. I was told they employed none. Hearing that was disheartening as I value my modesty. I had little choice but to continue with the ultrasound as i was on their charity care program and could do little to protest. As i lay on that bed, I could only think of how pathetic my situation was. Laying on a table with my genitals exposed being probed by a female tech like a science experiment gone mad... There needs to be more male ultrasound technicians to save other men this indignity!
Man who was shamed
I am a disabled male who went to the hospital for a heart cath, I told my doctor that I was very modest and didn't want a female nurse taking care of me. Yet when I went to the Cath lab there were several women around and one male nurse who did the prep work. Then when I went back to the room the nurses were all female and when I objected I was told that there were no male nurses on the floor, I objected to them checking the site and so then they made it their objective to do everything that they could to ridicule me, embarrass me, leaving me exposed to the hall ( uncovered on the bed so everyone walking down the hall) they laughed and giggled. I even heard one of them say that will teach him who is in charge, My wife would cover me and tried to keep my body covered. i complained to the hospital and all they did was call me a liar. The nurses from that floor were moved but I found that out later from the doctor when I told him. I had to go to er for a catheter being clogged a male nurse did the uncloging but when it came time to have the leg bag put on a female nurse came in and told me it was her turn to look at it. I told her no I would leave before that would happen. when she left she said before it got done I would call her to do it. I told her I would just leave first. I did just that after she left the rooom I got up and dressed then left and contacted the hospital about this mess and told my Dr about that I havent been back to that hospital. I would drive the 120 miles to another town first.
Those female nurses never even got talked to about the situation. I even reported this to the Nursing board of Texas the didnt even do anything. If any of this had been done to a female by a male nurse they would have gone to jail, let alone lost their license.
My husband had surgery recently on his hand. He was asked to only wear a gown and his cotton socks. He obliged. He woke up during the surgery, and found that he was completely naked. uncovered, and cold for the hand surgery. When the surgery was completed, they put the gown back on. Had he not awakened during the surgery, he nor I would have ever known. It appears to have no reason. There was an all-male staff in the operating room with him.
A very pleasant, likeable, and religious congregant, found himself in the hospital, for a prolonged period, later to die. His recurring conversation with me, over the course of my many pastoral visits, was his resistance to female nurses inserting foley catheters, giving him complete body baths, and then dressing him. Disclosing that he could accept the immense physical pain foisted on him, and that he was prepared for death, this sheep of my flock related that the most difficult problem of his entire life, was this issue of frontal nudity before strange women! It was foreign to his life experience. "It's not right!" was his plea. His tearful eyes looked to me for counsel. The only
consolation this veteran clergy provided
him, that if I were in his shoes, my feelings would be identical to his own!
The female nurses told this suffering, dying patient, "You don't have anything we've never seen before!"
"Don't worry about it, we do this all the time!" and "You'll get over it!" If
a male nurse said anything like this to a female patient, he would be suspended, fired, his license revoked, or possibly face a law-suit!
After this man's funeral, his family divulged that he had brought up the same subject with them on repeated occasions. No one stepped to the plate for this righteous man! He died without dignity, robbed of safe-guarding his manhood from the gaze and touch of "care-givers"!
Rabbi Hillel said:"If I am not for me--then who is? And if I am only for me--what am I?" Apparently, I was not for this hurting guy! I will carry to my own grave, this dereliction of duty, failing to offer any kind of intervention to resolve this anguish for a brother in the Lord, whose commitment to the faith and morality may have eclipsed my own!
The following year, I did walk a mile in my congregant's mocassins. I had out-patient surgery for a left inguinal hernia, at an out-of-town hospital. From the moment my name was called out from the waiting area, until release hours later, I encountered twenty hospital staff, only one of whom was a male--the surgeon. I had indecencies tossed at me, which I regard as a violation of my spiritual consecration, personal privacy, and dignity as a man.
An old man was in the cubicle next to me, awaiting an operation. His wife was in the enclosure with him. This fellow was to receive a foley catheter to be inserted by two female nurses--something which both his wife and he greeted with alarm! I have no way of knowing how the stalemate was resolved.
I believe that Divine Providence placed me as a patient in the OR, permitted to be demeaned by female medical workers, in order to experience firsthandedly, some of the vexation of my departed church member.
As I enter the last quarter of my life, I resolve to become an advocate for patient modesty, for others and myself. In and out of hospitals and nursing homes, numerous times each week, for over 37 years, if I were to make a print-out of disregard by the institutions, I could wall-paper the Sistene Chapel!
Without names, places, and dates with this statement, and providing it anonymously, I believe that I am not breaking expected pastor/parishioner confidentiality. Knowing the heart of my late church member, he would want his story to be told, if it were to benefit others!
Thank you. Rev. Fred, Protestant Pastor
I started having pain in the testicles, i figured i sat down to fast and injured myself, upon doing the self-exam i noticed a lump. I went to my primary care doctor, the medical assistant wanted to know the exact reason, I told her "non specific male issues" she did not like this. Once the doctor finally checked he ordered a STAT testicular ultrasound. I called to book the test, i was told my techs name, she was obviously female, i asked for a male tech, i was denied as they didnt employee male ultrasound techs, I refused to be exposed infront of any females. I was then lectured to why i was discriminating competent females. After HOURS of this, i was told that they refuse to test me and to call my health insurance company. I called the insurance company and they were upset at the radiology dept. within a hour they found a male tech to do the test. I was told by the radiology dept, that it was not right for me to request "special accomidations". I got the male tech, he told me that he was there every friday and that i was lucky as most of the women do the testicular ultrasounds, but he wasnt allowed to do the female ultrasounds Hmm double standard.
I got sent to urology where the female medical assistant was trying to get me to change infront of her, when i didnt i was treated badly, i heard them breaking hippa laws etc for other patients I spoke up and was ridiculed further. It got so bad i called my insurance company. They again were mad! They took care of the ridicule but my appointments suddenly got canceled and messages werent delivered to my doctor. Finally after id guess 4 months i finally got booked for surgery since all other attempts to cure failed. I asked the doctor if they could have a all male team he agreed and said it wasnt a problem. When I spoke to the urologist surgery scheduling dept, they were told as well, No females, they agreed and even told the surgical center numerous times. I called the surgical center I was told they knew about it and it wasnt a problem my account would be flagged and that i wasnt to worry about it, this was 2 months before surgery. The Friday prior i was called for my pre-op interview, i told them again all males NO females. they agreed they had males scheduled. I showed up and was treated BADLY by the first female nurse she was so insistant that my brother couldnt be back with me (in my own curtained off area) to protect my privacy, I took him back and he was in the curtain when i was undressing to keep the female nurse out as she already got me upset numerous times. She told me she was required to help me undress if needed not a family member I told her NOT to come in or surgery would be canceled. This made her extremely upset and started to ridicule me. She even got her co-worker in on it. I told them to go get my nurse she said she was my nurse. I told her I was told i would have all male nurses, this set her off, she went on a "Females are better than any male" rant and then tried to Lift my surgical gown saying she had to check, i stopped her and demanded my doctor, she started ranting that i was a chovinist pig and that she had to get the "female charge nurse" and i would just have to "deal with a female in charge" The charge nurse came over and i was told there was NO male nurses and that she was only told about it the friday prior. She was extremely nice and appologized several times. She bent over backward to get male techs for my surgery and I had to comprimise on female nurses outside the OR with the extreme rule no female shall be present while im exposed they agreed. The surgery went as scheduled. ( i have a extreme feeling they brought in females anyway i should have just canceled it and stayed in pain indefinatly as the thought of being exposed is still giving me nightmares about the surgery since i can never really know if they kept the females out of the OR) Once I was out of surgery in post op i remember the female nurse trying to lift the blankets to place an ice pack on my groin instinctively i hit the blanket down and said NO (the first time i spoke since waking up) The doctor came over and told the nurse as he placed it from the other side. Not to expose the patient and if anything was needed that they were to call him to do it. I got dressed and moved to the discharge nurse, due to the type of surgery i was required to urinate prior to discharge, after being hounded, I finally had the urge, when i got up to go into the bathrom the female nurse tried to follow me into the bathroom, my brother (he is a BIG boy) kind of pushed his way in behind me this nurse was MAD she was huffing and puffing her attitude, and slammed the door shut. She looked back towards my bay where my mother was sitting watching the nurses behavior. the nurse was mumbling giving my mom dirty looks.
I always get told "its just another body part its no big deal to us" but not one nurse can explain to me that if it is not a big deal to see it, why is it a big deal NOT to see it ?
Email me if you guys have any questions so it can be posted I do want to share my story so others know they CAN stand up for themselves !
Man Who Had Lump in Testicles
Las Vegas NV
I asked prior to my surgery about a genital prep necessary for my case. The medical director and anesthesiologist told me my male surgeon would do "it" in the OR suite. I found out afterwards from my surgeon I was lied to and the normal policy and procedure was for the female circulating nurse does the shaving with an electric razor and picks up the hair with masking tape, then does the scrub for several minutes and then cleanses and dries the area and then drapes the patient. The prep not only includes the surgical site but the entire abdominal area and your penis and scrotal area. I was more than extremely angry as was my spouse. If I had been told the truth I would have cancelled the surgery altogether as it was elective. It is unbelievable that these people get away with this behavior and as a patient there is nothing one can do about it.
A Man Who Had Genital Prep Before Surgery
I had knee surgery in March 2007 and they insisted that I was completely nude under my gown. I asked why I had to remove my underwear, and they bluntly said that the surgeon doesn't want to have to work around any clothing. It seemed like a lame reason to me, but they insisted, so it happened. I chose to remain awake during the surgery with a spinal, and I remember most everything that happened. Well, the gown was lifted several times, which exposed my penis to the room and I remember two of the female assistants checking me out at the end of the surgery while my knee was getting wrapped, and I could only lay there and let it all happen. The bad part about it is that I knew one of the girls through a mutual friend.
Man Who Had Knee Surgery
A man went to a hospital to receive surgery for carpal-tunnel syndrome. He was told to remove all his clothing and don the ubiquitous gossamer-like hospital gown. He asked why he had to remove his underwear if the surgery was going to be on his wrist. He was told, "It's policy." He did not accept this explanation as legitimate and kept his underpants on. After he was anesthetized, his underpants were removed. A nurse brought them to the waiting room and in front of other people handed them over to his wife laughing as she proclaimed, "I think these belong to your husband."
Man Who Had Carpal Tunnel Surgery
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