Medical Patient Modesty - a non-profit organization to improve patient modesty in medical settings

Bodily Privacy Violation Cases

Here are some cases where bodily privacy was not respected in medical settings! If you have a case where your bodily privacy or wishes for an all same sex team were not respected and you would like to share your story with Medical Patient Modesty, you can fill out the patient modesty violation form.

*Name has been changed to protect privacy.

Female Modesty Cases
Male Modesty Cases


- Test From Mississippi
Date Submitted: 3/8/2024

When I found this site, I realized I was not an anomaly but that this type of thing had happened before to other men. Men are treated with no respect, modesty, or decorum by medical professionals and are often left powerless and humiliated in the name of medicine.

I had a testicular ultrasound and the experience was by far one of the worst experiences I have ever had. As a young "tuff" 30 year old guy, the female tech left me crying and throwing up, as a result of the pain she inflicted. As I walked into the procedure room, she told me to strip completely from the waist down and lay on the table. As I did this there was a blanket on the table so I covered myself. as she was booting up the machine she took the blanket off and tree in on a chair again exposing me but she was not ready to do the procedure. She was still dealing with the machine. Then she walked out of the room, leaving the door open to the hallway as people walked by, and I’m fully exposed on the table visible to all. I jumped off the table and grabbed the blanket and put it back over me. When she came back in, I addressed it and she said sorry like it was no big deal, as she again threw the blanket on the chair. She then did it again the exact same thing again walking out leaving the door open. Now I should have left but I was having an issue I needed my Dr. to be able to diagnose, so I stayed. I had never had this done before and didn’t like the treatment but didn’t know what was normal. This is my biggest regret. To top it off, while having the procedure and laying on the table in a tremendous amount of pain, she had her friend (another female) come in to talk about lunch plans and how long she was taking with my procedure. I was pissed and told her to get out. She did but left the door open again! This was all happening as I lay on the table holding back tears, fully exposed, with no dignity, modesty, or respect. She was flattening my testicle against my upper thigh. I was telling her it hurt and she was telling me no you're fine I have to get the picture. After it was over I went into the private bathroom in the waiting room and threw up. I was in so much pain, I could barely walk. I then got to my car and sat there and cried in pain by myself. I had to see the Dr. for an emergency visit the next day. When he saw the black and blues on my upper inner thigh, he asked if I fell off a bike or how I got hurt. I told him it was from ultrasound tech. He immediately asked, "Was it a female? Some of them get way too rough." I had to have an additional test because there was concern she ruptured my testicle. She should have been arrested for assault. I was young and stupid and times were different but this was in 2008.

Today, as a man in my mid 40's this incident still makes me angry and feeling victimized. The anger is both towards this so-called health professional and at myself for allowing her behavior to continue for as long as it did. I was young and stupid. I thought it was normal for it to hurt like that, until the doctor told me otherwise, but the doctor did tell me a lot of guys complain that some of the women are way too rough. He wasn’t surprised by my experience but he was extremely surprised and concerned by the bruises and swelling caused.

About a year ago, I required the procedure again. I live in northern Virginia, I called about 15 different places to find a male Tech, I could not find one here in Virginia. Then I called Maryland and Dc locations. I eventually found one place in DC with one male tech. It took me four weeks to get an appointment with him. with him. During this ultrasound, I was covered and at no time was I ever fully exposed. He treated me with understanding, dignity, and respect. In addition, there was absolutely no pain or pressure needed to conduct the test. I asked him to let me know when he had to press hard so I could prepare, and he looked at me like I was crazy. He said he never had to press at all and that he barely even had to touch me, as the scanning wand was just gliding on the jell. The entire thing too about 10 min. I walked out feeling more violated about by fist experience than I did before. Today, I would have that first tech charged with assault if it happened.

- Dave From Virginia
Date Submitted: 7/14/2023

When I was a pre-teen, I was taken to see a dermatologist for common skin issues that young people my age often deal with. Since the affected areas surrounded my face, I was unnerved and confused when the doctor asked me to lie back on the exam table so he could take my pulse. But given that society dictates unquestionable compliance from medical personnel, I did as I was told even though I didn`t want to. I even tried to prop myself up on my elbows in order to avoid being completely prone, but the doctor ordered me to lie completely flat. He then lifted up my shorts, looked down for what seemed like an eternity, and slid his hand down to my groin where he held it there. I was so horrified that I could not move or cry out in protest to what was being done to me. I was so young, I didn`t understand sexual contact. But I do know that I felt that it was wrong.

As the decades went by, I buried my feelings and rationalized the experience as just a necessary part of the doctor`s appointment. I didn`t understand why I harbored a deep distrust of anybody in the medical community or why I avoided hospitals. But over time, I came to realize that what was done to me was completely unnecessary. There were other ways to take a pulse. Male doctors should never be allowed to make such intimate contact with women - especially young girls - when there are other viable options available. And they should be held accountable.

Fast forward to three years ago when my past came back to haunt me as my husband`s genitals were exposed and groin shaved without his knowledge or consent while he was sedated for a procedure involving incisions around his knee. My husband`s experience triggered my childhood trauma and placed me back to lying on the table with a male dermatologist`s hand down my shorts. As a result, I have finally been able to pinpoint and understand my own experience for what it truly was: sexual assault in the guise of medical care - though it has come at a tremendous cost of struggling daily with PTSD.

- *Lynn From Mississippi
Date Submitted: 5/9/2023

Was take for an angiogram- handed a consent form on the way into the room- was completely naked in from of 6 young women including a student for a groin trim while they all stood there smirking. Later found out that the consent form I signed while heavily medicated and no glasses allowed them to take pictures/videos- hospital is refusing to confirm if any were taken

- Justin From Minnesota
Date Submitted: 5/6/2022

I was referred for an ultrasound due to abdominal pain, came back with a diagnosis of possible endometriosis & I was then referred to an OBGYN for a hysteroscopy & laparoscopic investigation. I made it clear at the initial assessment that I would only consent to an all female team, I was told that would be ok. When I arrived in the day surgery unit I was nervous, distressed & had this gut wrenching feeling that not all was as it seemed. I stupidly convinced myself they would respect my wishes & everything would be fine. I was then drugged to calm me down & when I woke up from the surgery, I discovered the procedure had been done my males & I had been exposed to several males with no regard for my dignity or privacy. I complained to the hospital & was meant with a very dismissive attitude, it was clear they couldn’t careless about my dignity, they had no respect for me & didn’t value my life. Having a history of abuse to then be abused by these so called doctors, needless to say as left me with significant anxiety & depression. I will never trust a so called medical professional again, it was clear I only had rights when I was conscious & able to say no. I was told after the surgery that it was carried out by females even though I knew otherwise they maintained there lies & offered me more drugs.

- Kelly From UK
Date Submitted: 11/15/2021

I wish I had discovered this website sooner, else I could have avoided the traumatic experience both my wife and I are still enduring. But, unfortunately, my unwavering trust and faith in medical personnel led me to unquestioningly follow their directives. I was ultimately coerced and manipulated into the most expensive, invasive, traumatic, and unnecessary experience possible.

I had a venous ablation outpatient procedure done in an o.r. The surgeon showed me in advance where she would be making small incisions: below the knee and a few inches above. I was horrified to learn after I got home after the procedure that the disposable underwear they had given me had been cut off and my entire abdominal region along with both sides of my groin had been shaved right up to my penis. Nobody ever mentioned that I was going to be exposed and shaved. I certainly did not consent to this. I further discovered that this procedure is more typically done across the country in a more relaxed office or surgical suite environment while using local anesthesia, including at the same hospital. I am absolutely livid to learn that I did not have to endure the traumatic experience of being sedated, including the use of Versed, in an operating room. I also would not have had to remove my underwear and endure the indignity of having my groin exposed and shaved. The surgeon never mentioned anything about the surgical suite option with local anesthesia. When I asked her during a follow up, she danced around the issue and said she didn’t need any distractions. Her only response was to ensure me that everyone in the operating room was a professional. It`s not about her or the individuals in the room. It`s about the fact that I was denied the right to control what happens to intimate areas of my body. Had I known of all of my options, I would never have agreed to let this surgeon at a university hospital perform this procedure. The hospital and university contend that I should have expected intimate access even though the procedure centered around my knee. This is absurd and completely unreasonable. Investigations also revealed that this surgeon typically gives her patients the option of having procedures done in a surgical suite without sedation at another location within the city, but that they were closed due to Covid. She never used that excuse when I asked her. Besides, my procedure was scheduled during a visit on January 30th, 2020, a month before Covid closed the facilities. When my procedure had to be rescheduled due to Covid, she could have given me the option to wait until they were open. But she did not. So this shows she never intended to offer me the option of a surgical suite without sedation. She blatantly lied about this and several other issues I brought up. Not only has my mental health severely declined as a result of my experience, it has triggered PTSD in my wife. She was molested by a doctor as a pre-teen, and now the sight of me causes flashbacks. Therefore, this surgeon and her staff have denied me the ability to protect myself, my wife, and our marriage by failing to properly and completely inform and prepare me for a surgery that didn`t even produce the results the doctor said it would anyway. I had to continue seeking medical assistance for my leg a year afterwards. My wife and I really hope a team of bold lawyers and law makers will step up and help people like us. Hospitals and the medical profession in general are in desperate need of sweeping reform that will protect individuals. Patients have no true recourse because the systems in place tasked for such an endeavor are corrupt.

Check out the blog about my experience.

- *John From Iowa
Date Submitted: 5/10/2021

i had open heart surgery and was told to watch a video of what to expect in pre op. the video was a complete deception as to what was going to happen. once inside the pre op doors my wife was lead off to a waiting room with no fore knowledge or explanation why they would be stripping me of my support person. my fear at this point only grew and i was lead to the prep area by myself. i was told to strip and get in a gown and was asked several questions including if i had any personal or faith based concerns and i told her yes i didn`t want to be seen or touched by a female intimately for religious reasons and that i was very modest at that she said that i needed to leave my modesty at the door. i was told at the doctors office not to shave my chest but no other shaving was mentioned. at that point I was told that my chest and genitals would be shaved and the moment she said that another women came though the curtain lifted my my covering exposed me without saying a word and began to shave me. i was humiliated and embarrassed and then suffered dissociative amnesia from the trauma of what was happening to me. later it became clear why my wife was not with me that would have been weird and awkward for them if my wife was there but it didn`t seam to matter to them how i felt. i suffer PTSD to this day because of that. they promise in their oath to do no harm yet they send broken people home

- jeffrey fox From virginia
Date Submitted: 12/12/2020

I was feeling extremely exhausted & had collasped. I was put through stress for hours. (I had a heart attack on May 1st, from black smoke.) On the 30th of Oct. the symptoms were very close to the heart attack. It didn`t take long for my modesty to be attacked. A male nurse came in to give me a CKG & I said no. I asked for a female tech & was told the nurses were busy.I thought a tech took these types of test. He tried scared tactics about going to Heaven to get his way. Then, I heard him telling the nurses that She yelled at me. The nurses took his side, acted angry & were emotionally abusive. I couldn`t yell, if I wanted to, too weak to even raise my voice. I felt so unsafe that I started to bleed internally & went into severe pain in the stomach/pelvic area. The techs were fine & the one witnessed the male nurse being emotionally abusively. She gave me her name. There were five pages of results & no explanation. I signed myself out due to lack of trust. Being treated emotionally abusive, just because you are modest. The health care told me that I don`t have to be treated by anyone who I don`t like. The nurses told me Not at this hospital!! That happened before at this same hospital. They don`t care about a patients modesty

- Carol From PA
Date Submitted: 12/17/2020

had a c section, and a day after a nurse came in to wash me so i was there completely naked. suddenly the curtain opens up and a volunteer comes in to ask if there is anything she can help. so bad

- Rasa From NY
Date Submitted: 10/29/2019

So never having been in a hospital or surgery I had a knee injury that required arthroscopic surgery. Pre op nurses were rude and didnt care at all. I had to fight to have my husband come in with me and they closed the curtain on him anyway. They told me to take off my underwear to which I protested. Simple surgery, no catheter would have to be used and the nurse yelled at me and told me i had to be naked. she even opened my gown to make sure i did take them off. Once in the or as they were knocking me out i felt my gown go down from the neck and up from stomach. Later i found out that to position me they had to spread my legs - raise my right leg to put a tourniquet on then keep me exposed until they had my leg in a position for the surgery. So there i was spread with all my glory with male nurses. Complained to surgical director after and was told my underwear should have stayed on or they could have offered me paper. This was totally uncalled for and do not understand why they always want you naked. Same thing with husbands wrist surgery and when he questioned it she said for sterile reasons. the gown is not sterile, the socks they give you are not sterile so why why do they make you get naked. should be something a patient can do about this

- marie From usa
Date Submitted: 5/29/2019

My wife was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and a lumpectomy was the procedure to be performed. In this hospital, the patient goes to one patient room to disrobe and gown, then another where anesthesia is first administered (spouse not allowed), then to the OR. The room where my wife disrobed had only a curtain that ended at the edge of the door open to the hallway. When closed there was still a fair gap where we could see into the hallway (and, of course, people in the hallway could see us). There were many male orderlies as well as patients hanging around in the hallway. I spoke to the nurse, and told her my wife was unwilling to disrobe unless this gap was closed. She stormed across the room, jerked the curtains through the hallway door, and used what looked like a hazardous waste container to hold the edge of it against the inside of the door frame. She then left in a huff. This was our first glimpse of how lax this place was. Also while in that room, we asked the PA (a 5-year female resident doctor) about modesty protections at the hospital, especially in the OR. Her reply was you`ll be unconcious, you won`t care. We knew then we were in trouble.

- R. B. From Conway, SC
Date Submitted: 8/17/2017

I am 44 years old and I have never experienced anything like this before. I had my annual female examination in June of 2017. A male doctor enters the room and asked if he can ask me some questions-he came in alone no medical assistant or anything. He was asking about my previous years examination/history of pap exams and results...I was looking at him strangely and I did not want to answer him so I was giving him short answers...I was so confused like why is he in here and I did not give them permission for a male to come in my room with me just a gown on...this was so not right. I am so mad that I did not speak up for myself. Then he exits the room and the physician that I am going to see comes in with him and she had me get in position to have my exam performed--I am thinking that she will conduct the exam and just have him observe--she asked him if he had ever performed a pap exam and then she said, well you are going to learn today. The instrument that opens you up was not set right correctly and so I was pinched from inside--this MALE doctor performed my pap smear, he put his crummy hands inside me!! I am so angry--it bothers me even more as the days go by...NOT one time did anyone ask me was it ok for a MALE doctor to examine me--I have never had a male and I would have never picked a male gynecologist period!!!!!! I will not be back and she will know about it, I just need to find out the correct way to go about this..

- LaQuashia Smith From Indianapolis
Date Submitted: 7/5/2017

I entered the room where they prep you with 4 women. I was told to get undressed & put a robe on. They were waiting & looking at me to do it. I ask them to wait outside the door & they laughed then went out. I was told to remove my underwear. I did. When they come in I was told to lay back on the bed. One of the female nurses approached me with an electric razor and started to lift up my robe. 2 other women were still in the room watching. I ask for a male nurse and received no response. She leaned on me and tried to force the robe off my groin. I held the robe over my private parts & let her shave. She was very upset. She wanted me exposed. It was humiliating. I don`t understand why I wasn`t told to shave before I arrived. I could of done a better job of it & not be put thru all this. I was so mad & upset . 8 hours later I was told it was my turn. I was brought to the OR. 2 males & one female were in with me. I was told to lift my robe up by the female & I said no. I ask for her to leave while I was getting this done. When I ask them to keep me covered they put me to sleep. I ask that no students were to be in the room but I believe they were brought in after I was put to sleep. I also believe I was fully exposed during the surgery & did not need to be that way. When I awoke in my room my robe was up and a nurse was looking at my surgery. Needless to say it was one of the most humiliating experiences. The door to my room was left open for all that walked by to see in. It was my first surgery & did not know what to expect. I would advise all men to shave your groin if you are going in for any kind of surgery. Legs in & around your groin also. I wish I would of insisted on a male nurse. Very degrading experience.

- Steve Snook From Sebring Florida
Date Submitted: 6/5/2017

Nearly two years ago I underwent the most common of surgeries, a hernia repair. I followed all instructions and had no food or liquids before the 8am procedure. And according to ALL on-line surgical guidelines no bladder catheter is necessary if patient has emptied their bladder and has no other `indications`(medical reasons)for the cath (those apply in my case). But, after the surgery I had severe burning during urination and later during the follow-up office visit the surgeon reluctantly admitted that she ordered the catheter after anesthesia, then lied directly to my face about her reasoning. It turns out that catheterizing ALL patients is much easier and quicker that evaluating patients individually for the invasive and infection causing procedure. AND the hospital nursing staff LOVES the convenience if not having to assist patients to the restroom or bringing bedpans. A nurse is the usually the patients last line of defense to stop a doctor who strays from protocol. But in this case the O.R. nurses were personal friends with the surgeon, so they were not going to file any complaints. So I have complained to the hospital administration and the state medical licencesure board. The surgeon was reprimanded but still orders bladder catheters out of habit and personal preference.

- Jim L From Louisville, KY
Date Submitted: 12/3/2016

I had checked with a hospital and been assured a male prep nurse would get me ready for a bladder neck transurethral operation. When the female arrived and I informed her of my accommodation she flipped me off and said SHE would be doing it. Had this happened to a female with a male all hell would have broken loose. I was made to feel as if it were insignificant, even though the hospital assured me it was in a facility that large NO PROBLEM to get a male. I now know to REFUSE TREATMENT unless my direction was followed. I was in the OR, and my only alternative would have been to scream GET THE H... OUT...I now wish I had done exactly that. I filed a complaint with the state nursing board and NOT even a reprimand was issued...that despite my verbal direction to the woman, my WRITTEN OUT preference laying on top of my body as she stood over me and the hospital assuring me in advance I would have a male prep nurse. Worse yet-- While I was laying in the OR with legs up in stirrups fully exposed and conscious with a spinal, a woman the nurse knew came in the or and had a conversation with her obviously NOT about me in full sight of me exposed. Now? I WOULD SCREAM MY HEAD OFF..NEVER again will I be subjected to that kind of thing

- George Terrell From Alabama
Date Submitted: 12/28/2015

I was sexually abused by older sister when I was 4, she got in a lot of trouble from my parents and ever afterward projected her own anger and shame on me with physical and emotional abuse until I was twelve and could defend myself. Only then did the abuse stop. My worst fear is being naked and helpless in front of women - welcome to the healthcare system. I went into a deep depression after a previous hernia surgery - told myself it was due to everything but the real reason, I woke up naked with my pubic hair shaved off and also found that I had been catheterized without any knowledge or consent.

Sexual abuse is a gender franchise - granted (many women are victimized) but we totally ignore men like me. We die younger because we don`t want invasive care from the largely female healthcare system. I had an uncle refuse treatment for bladder cancer after a cystoscopy. He could have added ten years or so to his life but chose to die at home with a box that emitted some kind of electronic waves as his only treatment. I miss him like crazy.

- Kevin From Not Disclosed
Date Submitted: 12/16/2013

I was one example of why it is important to give adolescents the choice of a doctor of the same gender for pubic and other personal exams. When I was around 14 and just started puberty, my mom took me to the family doctor for a pubic check up. Although he is a respectful doctor, it nonetheless was extremely uncomfortable to have him look at and touch parts of my body that I was not comfortable with anyone touching. I didn`t even expose myself like that to my mom, so you could imagine that exposing yourself to a male doctor would be even more uncomfortable. At that age, however, I didn`t realize the ability to speak up , no one tells you that it`s OKAY to feel uncomfortable and that it`s okay to say no when you`re not comfortable with something. I trusted my parents and the doctor so much at the time that I didn`t even think that I might not be okay with it. However, reflecting back (I`m now 22), I cringe at the thought that a mother would bring her young daughter to be examined in her private places by a male doctor without necessity. She herself was of good intention, but many parents like her just might not realize that many children have a natural sense of modesty. What we can take away from this is: even if a child doesn`t complain, it doesn`t mean that we should not be there to look out for their modesty too.

- University Student From BC
Date Submitted: 12/3/2013

I was recommended to meet a new Doctor by two family members. I was taken into the exam room immediately and after my EKG was left sitting one hour listening to the Doctor thru the walls talking to other patients. Finally I heard him at the door and I heard him say oh its a physical. The Doctor did not walk into the room or introduce himself instead he pushed a student into the room laughed about it held up his pointer finger and told the student to remember the finger and walked away. I did not know what to do, do I make a scene, the student was soft spoken and I was more concerned about his feelings so I endured a 50 minute of exam. I realized during the exam he was doing it like a student practicing what he learned in school, I was appalled that a student was allowed to practice a male genital exam and a rectal exam, a complete internal without my consent and with out a doctor being present. When the Doctor finally came in 50 minutes later he sat with his back o me checked off the forms and said :well you have been poked and prodded enough you look healthy take care I am now in therapy dealing with the fact I was reduced to being a specimen for training pictures

- David From Florida
Date Submitted: 9/30/2013

My wife is an RN at a hospital so she and I both understand the necessity for compromising a patients modesty. She had also expressed her concerns and shock that patients were being unnecessarily totally exposed during surgery. Today my wife had outpatient surgery to repair a tendon in her left ring finger. When she returned from surgery to the recovery room her gown had been removed and she was totally nude during her surgery. Her gown was laid over her during transport from the OR to recovery. Why was it medically necessary for a patient to be nude to have surgery on a finger????

- concerned human being From ky
Date Submitted: 7/17/2013

I had a heart attack at work and was brought to Yale. The residents were very courteous and relatively concerned about my dignity. Not so the female surgeon who pulled up my gown and left me exposed, fortunately flacid, before several women and med students, all female. One of the residents who came in periodically (male), apparently embarrassed for me, eventually covered my penis with the sterilizing cloth. It was cold and wet and shocked me, but restored some dignity. It disappeared later after the local anesthetic set in and I was again left exposed. The tech (also a female MD) inserting the femoral artery cath for the stent never looked at my face or my genitals, that I noticed, but she had a silly, perhaps embarrassed grin on her face throughout the procedure. I later saw the female surgeon on a return trip to the hospital a month later. I was about to thank her for her help when she dangled her little pinky in the air in apparently reference to my condition at the time. I am fairly large when not flacid so I was mostly amused but, a man with less self esteem might have reacted badly, and a month after a heart attack to intentionally mock a patient shows her to be a very bad doctor and person. She is a Med School instructor as well so I dread what might have been `demonstrated to the `girls` had I been out and not just under a local, is very disconcerting.

- JB From Connecticut
Date Submitted: 8/14/2013

: I had gynecological surgery in the late 1990s at a teaching hospital. It for was an ovarian cyst. It was a scheduled non-emergency surgery. I had a female ob-gyn in private practice with privileges at that hospital. I was in my early 20s at the time. I had many reservations about going to a teaching hospital. I tried to talk to my doctor about them. She dismissed me with what I now believe is the standard speech about the superior care at teaching hospitals, she will always supervise everything and will be doing the actual surgery. I asked if a resident or any students would be present and stated I did not want one. She told me she would need an assist and the resident would be there for that purpose only. When I arrived at the hospital the doctor who came to see me was a male resident. I was very young and very nervous so I just asked when my doctor would be there. She arrived less than 5 minutes before my surgery, said the male ob-g yn would be assisting and handed me the consent. Foolishly, I signed it. Both in her office and on that day I was very specific that I did not want any students or residents present, partly for modestly, but also because I was concerned about errors. She gave me the same speech again. I never saw her again until my follow up appointment in her office. I remember waking up screaming in agony and remember him examining my abdomen and vaginal bleeding several times in recovery. I remember screaming for him to stop because I was I so much pain. I remember screaming for my husband and my doctor. Recovery consisted of a large room with rows of beds. There were no curtains and zero privacy. I had complications in recovery and was discharged anyway and wound up back in the ER the next day with a long list of complications. Fortunately, I had no permanent injuries and after a very long recovery period, managed to mend normally. I wanted to know what happened so I ordered my records. First, I found out the male doctor did a pelvic exam once I was out, despite the fact I had a pelvic exam and ultrasound just a few days before my surgery. I also found out he did the dictation on the operative report and my doctor was listed as present for the procedure. He also did all the post operative orders for my complications. Since then I have had two sections, I was awake, everyone was a female except the anesthesiologist, but he was a wonderful doctor so it all went fine. Two healthy kids, healthy mom, zero complications and no trauma.

- Susan From San Jose
Date Submitted: 9/17/2013

I entered St. Luke`s hospital for a follow-up angiogram. the previous angiogram was performed through my right wrist and it was determined by the nursing and physician staff that the same wrist could be prepped and used for this procedure. Upon entering the operating room (with 4-5 female nurses/technicians present). I was instructed to remove my underware (shorts). I protested since the procedure involved inserting the angiogram in my wrist. The nurse insisted that it was necessary if the wrist was found to be unacceptable by the surgeon, who had already examined and accepted my wrist. I protested again noting that I had suffered childhood trauma regarding exposing my genitals. The nurse insisted that it was necessary and now very embarrased, I removed my underwear from under my hospital gown. Once on the operating table, another tech lifted my gown and began shaving my groin area with my genitals completely exposed. She had to move my penis with the palm of her hand to complete her site prep. When finished, she pulled up my gown and left my genitals completely exposed to all nursing/tech staff in the room. It was humiliating. After about 5 minutes, of my lying there completely exposed, another tech placed a blue cloth over my genitals, then covered me with sterile sheeting. This was completely uncalled for and an unforgiveable violation of my privacy.

- RM From Stroudsburg, PA
Date Submitted: 2/21/2013

I'm very well educated, but I'm also quite modest. Because my health is excellent, and because of my issues with modesty, I had not seen a gynecologist in over 20 years. My husband finally convinced me to see a doctor when my problems became severe. It turned out I needed a hysterectomy.

Before making the appointment with the female gynecological surgeon, I checked with the receptionist to make sure that the doctor had an all female practice. I was assured that she did--including nurses and assistants. I also told the person I thought would be assisting with the surgery that I wanted only females during the surgery.

About 10 minutes before surgery, I learned that not only would the anesthesiologist be male, so would the circulating nurse. I was mortified, but agreed to allow both because I thought I'd at least be awake for the prep. Besides, I knew that once I was out, I would have no control who saw what and I had better play nice or things might get really bad while I was out.

To be clear, both the anesthesiologist and nurse knew I was very concerned--my modesty concerns were no secret to anyone. As the two men entered the waiting area silently, I was talking to my husband with my head turned in the opposite direction of where they entered and of my IV. They were standing there for about 15 seconds when I suddenly realized they where handling my IV. I said, "please don't give me anything. I want to be aware so I know who's in the OR." The anesthesiologist said, "don't worry, we're taking care of you." That's the last thing I remember. I have no other memory for over 6 hours.

The day after the surgery, I saw the person who I thought was the assistant for the surgery. She told me and my husband that the surgery went well and gave me post-op instructions before I was released--she made no indication that she was not in the OR with me. As a matter of fact all her comments intentionally lead us to believe she had assisted the doctor.

Finally, a week after surgery, when I was still having trouble remembering things, I called the anesthesiologist to see why I couldn't even remember being taking into surgery, being prepped or when I was given anesthesia. He told me, "oh, that's probably the Versed I gave you in the waiting area." I was stunned. I reminded him that I had explicitly asked to NOT be drugged before entering the OR. He told me that they knew I'd object to the males in the room, so they gave me the Versed to "calm you down." I was mortified.

I then requested my records from the hospital and learned that the team was almost entirely male--including the assistant.

I called the surgeon whom I had trusted to try to make sense of what happened. Basically, she told me that all the men are "professionals" and that I shouldn't worry about what they did or saw--they do it all the time. Let's be clear about what they did and saw--they stripped me completely naked, spread my legs apart, put my legs into stirrups, scrubbed my body, cleaned my vagina, let me lay naked for at least an another 10 minutes while I dried, and inserted their fingers and other objects into my vagina, all without my explicit consent and after being rendered unconscious deceitfully and against my will. When I asked her why I wasn't informed that she replaced her normal assistant with a male, she in essence let me know it's not her responsibility to tell me who will be assisting or who is in the surgical area.

When I contacted the hospital to find out why, when 90% of all nurses are female, would they put males to assist for gynecological surgery, I was informed that gender does not matter, all nurses are professionals.

I pointed out to both the doctor and the hospital that not one OBGYN in the area has males assist when the patient is wake and that woman should be treated with the same level of respect when unconscious as they are when conscious. Both said that surgery is different--"that's why people are sedated." Hospitals/surgeons don't want patients to know what's happening during surgery--"it's not necessary. Most patients like you would just object, so sedation helps everyone."

Needless to say, I will never allow myself to be sedated again.

- Maggie From Utah
Date Submitted: 10/7/2012

I had a testicular ultrasound done recently and asked for a male tech. I was told they employed none. Hearing that was disheartening as I value my modesty. I had little choice but to continue with the ultrasound as i was on their charity care program and could do little to protest. As i lay on that bed, I could only think of how pathetic my situation was. Laying on a table with my genitals exposed being probed by a female tech like a science experiment gone mad... There needs to be more male ultrasound technicians to save other men this indignity!

- Man who was shamed From USA
Date Submitted: 2/27/2012

I am sharing this experience on behalf of my wife and she is fully aware of and has endorsed this submission. It seems that, in some circumstances, individual patient preference is immaterial. Respect for medical support staff based on blind trust of their technical qualifications at the expense of patient concerns to me, is paternalistic and misogynistic.  My wife recently was asked to obtain a echo stress test. After making the appointment three days prior, the appointment was yesterday. At the time of making the appointment and as a result of feeling uncomfortable being exposed to and touched by a male, my wife requested a female team do the stress echo test and was told that that would be fine. Upon arrival, there was 3 people present in the room; one female and 2 males. She was advised that the Dr would be present when the stress portion was completed. She indicated to the female present that she felt uncomfortable with the males in the room.  The female replied telling her that they were the only staff available and directed her to remove all of her clothing from the waist up and put a gown on (in full view of all in the room).  Again my wife stated that she didn't feel comfortable and at this point, one of the male technicians intervened. In an obvious attempt to relax my wife, he told her that she shouldn't be worried and that they see "boobies" all day long.  He then attempted to further explain that she shouldn't be 'relaxed' because when she was walking on the treadmill they would "flop all over the place" and that there was no way that the gown would "keep her covered". Rather than this providing any comfort to my wife, her anxiety levels increased significantly.    To her credit and at this point, she turned and walked out of the room. I was waiting in the waiting area for her and I could see that she was emotionally distressed. When she joined me, two of the people inside the room, one male and one female, approached us and spoke to my wife.  She said that she didn't want to have the test and the female, in a rather superior and mildly offensive manner, said that she was "just being silly" and suggested that she "stop wasting time".   At this point a Dr came forward and asked what the problem was.  My wife briefly explained the circumstance and he invited us both to return to the room (away from the Reception Area) and speak.  We did. Once in the room the Dr took a rather conciliatory approach (which was appropriate) and both my wife and I explained the background and she said that she felt very uncomfortable with the present circumstances.  The other 3 were standing observing the discussion. The Dr explained that they were all Medical Professionals and that the examination needed to be done and it was not possible for it to be an all female team. At this point I asked what aspect of professionalism dictated that a male should dismiss my wife's concerns out of hand by telling her that he sees 'boobies' all day long and that they would be 'flopping all over the place' while on the treadmill.  The Dr had no response to this at all - he just looked blankly at me. By this time my wife was quite distressed (not a good thing prior to a stress test I am sure) and I told all present that we were leaving and would seek another service provider to conduct the test.  Before we could leave, the male technician holding a series of leads stepped forward and addressed me in what I think was an attempt at an intimidating manner. With a very direct gaze he leaned forward and asked "What's the matter? Don't you trust us?". I responded with "no, not at all" and though he was quite taken aback by the answer, he mumbled something about my answer as being offensive and turned away. At this point, we left the room. Prior to leaving the office, the female that was present in the room followed us and before we could leave told us that we would be required to pay the $650 for the test even though we didn't have the test done. I told her that, as my wife had explained her expectations three days prior to the appointment, had been told that those expectations would be met and that they had now changed, we would not be paying for the appointment and that I would be lodging a complaint with the appropriate Medical Authorities. Since leaving, my wife has had a phone call from another Dr (presumably someone in charge) apologising for the experience and magnanimously 'waiving the fee'.  He also suggested in very forceful terms that lodging a complaint would be counter-productive and a waste of time. The complaint has been lodged. Based on this experience, I have to say that I am disillusioned with the professionalism, people-skills and due care and concern displayed by these people. I understand that in a life threatening situation the people trained to give treatment will be any gender and focussed on delivering life saving intervention. I support this without question.  What I do not support is that, for an exploratory examination that is non-life threatening, the wishes, preferences and concerns of the patient are immaterial, insignificant and dismissed out of hand. For whatever reason, if a patient makes certain requests, then that patient should be listened to, the requests addressed and if the requests are not possible, a full explanation provided as to why the expectations cannot be met.  To disregard a patient's concerns as "just being silly" is offensive, derogatory and supercilious.   I am very angry about this experience and my wife is still somewhat distressed. As a result, I have lost complete faith in medical support services, ultrasound technicians and specialist providers. In a life threatening situation and for myself, I will accept whatever treatment is offered. However, based on this exchange, I will be loath to seek preventative intervention and or testing and that is a shame, sad and disappointing - but it is the way that I now feel.

- Rose From Australia
Date Submitted: 8/23/2011

Several years ago, I was referred to the OBGYN department of the local hospital due to a late-term pregnancy complication (gestational diabetes). The young female doctor was ferrying around some useless students. Students should be professional too! However, they were apparently following the example of this doctor. She seemed more interested in amusing them than in assisting me. After a perfunctory, uncomfortable examination, I was asked, "What drugs are you taking to stay skinny for your boyfriend?" I was shocked and embarrassed. I was also very scared and very pregnant, with persistent morning sickness and the added complication of the dietary restrictions imposed when you have GD. I reported her comment as inappropriate (the director of nursing agreed), and was told that I would not have to see this particular physician again. Skip forward a few months: 42 weeks pregnant and in labor. Same hospital. My favorite doctor walks in. I asked her to leave. She said no. I tell her I've reported her. She tells me she is the only doctor on the floor. I ask for a different floor. She proceeds to try and examine me while we are having this conversation. I asked her to get her hands off of me. We finally agree to disagree. She quickly examines me again, and then announces that I am not even halfway to delivery and to WALK to the lab to have blood drawn. I complained of painful contractions making it too difficult to walk and was told that, "I doesn't hurt that bad. Hurry up." I was crying and being dragged down the hallway, firmly, by one of my arms. Every time I stopped to get my breath during a contraction, I was reprimanded and told that I was being dramatic about the pain. Before we even reached the lab, I was announcing that I had the urge to push. The nurse told me, "You don't know what you're feeling- you're not ready yet." She believed me about 30 seconds later when my son was born. I had previously done my birth plan with them including holding him and breastfeeding, but he was taken away for several hours and bottle fed. Less than five minutes after this traumatic birth in the lab, I was directed to urinate on cue. I protested, so the same nurse who would not heed my concerns earlier, proceeded to catheterize me against my stated wishes, while remarking and gesturing to another woman in the room (of unknown use), "This is so hard right after a birth- nothing looks the same down here!" Wow! Of course, I ended up with a nasty UTI (first and only.) I filed several formal complaints with the hospital administration. For my trouble, I was sent a nice letter that firstly apologized and secondly asked for me to sign a form stating that I would not sue the hospital. It was heartbreaking. I desperately wish I could change the whole scenario. Please, ladies, PLEASE, at least visit a birthing center before letting physicians convince you that hospital births are the only route. Don't let doctors bulldoze you and bring REINFORCEMENTS. DO NOT GO ALONE. No matter how large or small the procedure, it is important to have a friend or family member with you, who knows your wishes, and who you can trust to advocate for you!

- Wendy From NC
Date Submitted: 10/7/2010

I am a disabled male who went to the hospital for a heart cath, I told my doctor that I was very modest and didn't want a female nurse taking care of me. Yet when I went to the Cath lab there were several women around and one male nurse who did the prep work. Then when I went back to the room the nurses were all female and when I objected I was told that there were no male nurses on the floor, I objected to them checking the site and so then they made it their objective to do everything that they could to ridicule me, embarrass me, leaving me exposed to the hall ( uncovered on the bed so everyone walking down the hall) they laughed and giggled. I even heard one of them say that will teach him who is in charge, My wife would cover me and tried to keep my body covered. i complained to the hospital and all they did was call me a liar. The nurses from that floor were moved but I found that out later from the doctor when I told him. I had to go to er for a catheter being clogged a male nurse did the uncloging but when it came time to have the leg bag put on a female nurse came in and told me it was her turn to look at it. I told her no I would leave before that would happen. when she left she said before it got done I would call her to do it. I told her I would just leave first. I did just that after she left the rooom I got up and dressed then left and contacted the hospital about this mess and told my Dr about that I havent been back to that hospital. I would drive the 120 miles to another town first. Those female nurses never even got talked to about the situation. I even reported this to the Nursing board of Texas the didnt even do anything. If any of this had been done to a female by a male nurse they would have gone to jail, let alone lost their license.

- j freer From Paris, TX
Date Submitted: 7/18/2010

Just a few months ago, I had been violated by an ex boyfriend. It had been 3 days since the incident happened, and when I noticed that I was still having trouble, I decided that I needed medical help. I attempted to be seen by a nurse in a nearby small town who I knew well enough to feel comfortable with. She couldn't see me because my injuries fell outside of her jurisdiction, so she wrote me a referral to the ER. I had gone to one hospital in the area and I walked right out REALLY upset that THEY HAD NO FEMALE DOCTORS! So then I went to a different hospital that had female doctors on staff. I had to wait much longer (over 3 hours) because I was so "picky" in my demands for what gender my doctor had to be. When I finally got in, they put me into a room with nothing but a curtain to separate me from all the people in the hallway. They had to do a pelvic exam to assess the damage, and when they did I REQUESTED that they put me in a room with a door where it would be private, but they told me they couldn't. I had to lay on a bedpan, listening to male voices with 2 females in the room and a male holding the curtain and standing outside to make sure no one pulled the curtain open (and how do I know if he's looking at me or not?) They had to give me a shot of advant because I was freaking out with a bad anxiety attack. I told the doctors about my history of sexual abuse, but I guess it made no difference. I notice that every time I go to any doctor's office that does OB/GYN, there's either a camera in the room (angled right at the woman's exposed body), or a window with open blinds- things that really exploit a woman's sense of privacy to her own body. It makes me so disgusted at the medical field.

- Jennifer T. From USA
Date Submitted: 7/5/2010

I am a female veteran. I was diagnosed with breast cancer (female veterans are diagnosed with breast cancer at twice the rate of non-veterans). I was scheduled for a mastectomy and GYN surgery on the same day. Due to awareness of research proven male propensity to rape, the intimate nature of the surgeries, modesty and privacy concerns, I requested an all female team. I was lied to, manipulated, and abused. The surgeries who I was told would be performed by particular experienced faculty were assigned to interns supervised by a resident. No effort was made to restrict the gender of providers, just to hide them from me. In spite of being told before and after the surgery that no males were present, medical records indicate that a male intern performed the surgery, a male circulating nurse was present as was a male anesthesia nurse. I am sure other male students were in the room as well. In response to my complaints, I have suffered having my medical records and care sabataged, suffered abusive violent comments and responses to my complaints, a refusal to hand over all my medical records, and threats that the V.A. will retalitate by attacking my diabled husband if I go though with my lawsuit.

- MC From Oregon
Date Submitted: 7/6/2010

My husband had surgery recently on his hand. He was asked to only wear a gown and his cotton socks. He obliged. He woke up during the surgery, and found that he was completely naked. uncovered, and cold for the hand surgery. When the surgery was completed, they put the gown back on. Had he not awakened during the surgery, he nor I would have ever known. It appears to have no reason. There was an all-male staff in the operating room with him.

- Beth From Oklahoma
Date Submitted: 2/9/2010

A very pleasant, likeable, and religious congregant, found himself in the hospital, for a prolonged period, later to die. His recurring conversation with me, over the course of my many pastoral visits, was his resistance to female nurses inserting foley catheters, giving him complete body baths, and then dressing him. Disclosing that he could accept the immense physical pain foisted on him, and that he was prepared for death, this sheep of my flock related that the most difficult problem of his entire life, was this issue of frontal nudity before strange women! It was foreign to his life experience. "It's not right!" was his plea. His tearful eyes looked to me for counsel. The only consolation this veteran clergy provided him, that if I were in his shoes, my feelings would be identical to his own!

The female nurses told this suffering, dying patient, "You don't have anything we've never seen before!" "Don't worry about it, we do this all the time!" and "You'll get over it!" If a male nurse said anything like this to a female patient, he would be suspended, fired, his license revoked, or possibly face a law-suit!

After this man's funeral, his family divulged that he had brought up the same subject with them on repeated occasions. No one stepped to the plate for this righteous man! He died without dignity, robbed of safe-guarding his manhood from the gaze and touch of "care-givers"!

Rabbi Hillel said:"If I am not for me--then who is? And if I am only for me--what am I?" Apparently, I was not for this hurting guy! I will carry to my own grave, this dereliction of duty, failing to offer any kind of intervention to resolve this anguish for a brother in the Lord, whose commitment to the faith and morality may have eclipsed my own!

The following year, I did walk a mile in my congregant's mocassins. I had out-patient surgery for a left inguinal hernia, at an out-of-town hospital. From the moment my name was called out from the waiting area, until release hours later, I encountered twenty hospital staff, only one of whom was a male--the surgeon. I had indecencies tossed at me, which I regard as a violation of my spiritual consecration, personal privacy, and dignity as a man. An old man was in the cubicle next to me, awaiting an operation. His wife was in the enclosure with him. This fellow was to receive a foley catheter to be inserted by two female nurses--something which both his wife and he greeted with alarm! I have no way of knowing how the stalemate was resolved. I believe that Divine Providence placed me as a patient in the OR, permitted to be demeaned by female medical workers, in order to experience firsthandedly, some of the vexation of my departed church member. As I enter the last quarter of my life, I resolve to become an advocate for patient modesty, for others and myself. In and out of hospitals and nursing homes, numerous times each week, for over 37 years, if I were to make a print-out of disregard by the institutions, I could wall-paper the Sistene Chapel! Without names, places, and dates with this statement, and providing it anonymously, I believe that I am not breaking expected pastor/parishioner confidentiality. Knowing the heart of my late church member, he would want his story to be told, if it were to benefit others! Thank you. Rev. Fred, Protestant Pastor

- Rev. Fred From Pennsylvania
Date Submitted: 9/11/2009

I started having pain in the testicles, i figured i sat down to fast and injured myself, upon doing the self-exam i noticed a lump. I went to my primary care doctor, the medical assistant wanted to know the exact reason, I told her "non specific male issues" she did not like this. Once the doctor finally checked he ordered a STAT testicular ultrasound. I called to book the test, i was told my techs name, she was obviously female, i asked for a male tech, i was denied as they didnt employee male ultrasound techs, I refused to be exposed infront of any females. I was then lectured to why i was discriminating competent females. After HOURS of this, i was told that they refuse to test me and to call my health insurance company. I called the insurance company and they were upset at the radiology dept. within a hour they found a male tech to do the test. I was told by the radiology dept, that it was not right for me to request "special accomidations". I got the male tech, he told me that he was there every friday and that i was lucky as most of the women do the testicular ultrasounds, but he wasnt allowed to do the female ultrasounds Hmm double standard. I got sent to urology where the female medical assistant was trying to get me to change infront of her, when i didnt i was treated badly, i heard them breaking hippa laws etc for other patients I spoke up and was ridiculed further. It got so bad i called my insurance company. They again were mad! They took care of the ridicule but my appointments suddenly got canceled and messages werent delivered to my doctor. Finally after id guess 4 months i finally got booked for surgery since all other attempts to cure failed. I asked the doctor if they could have a all male team he agreed and said it wasnt a problem. When I spoke to the urologist surgery scheduling dept, they were told as well, No females, they agreed and even told the surgical center numerous times. I called the surgical center I was told they knew about it and it wasnt a problem my account would be flagged and that i wasnt to worry about it, this was 2 months before surgery. The Friday prior i was called for my pre-op interview, i told them again all males NO females. they agreed they had males scheduled. I showed up and was treated BADLY by the first female nurse she was so insistant that my brother couldnt be back with me (in my own curtained off area) to protect my privacy, I took him back and he was in the curtain when i was undressing to keep the female nurse out as she already got me upset numerous times. She told me she was required to help me undress if needed not a family member I told her NOT to come in or surgery would be canceled. This made her extremely upset and started to ridicule me. She even got her co-worker in on it. I told them to go get my nurse she said she was my nurse. I told her I was told i would have all male nurses, this set her off, she went on a "Females are better than any male" rant and then tried to Lift my surgical gown saying she had to check, i stopped her and demanded my doctor, she started ranting that i was a chovinist pig and that she had to get the "female charge nurse" and i would just have to "deal with a female in charge" The charge nurse came over and i was told there was NO male nurses and that she was only told about it the friday prior. She was extremely nice and appologized several times. She bent over backward to get male techs for my surgery and I had to comprimise on female nurses outside the OR with the extreme rule no female shall be present while im exposed they agreed. The surgery went as scheduled. ( i have a extreme feeling they brought in females anyway i should have just canceled it and stayed in pain indefinatly as the thought of being exposed is still giving me nightmares about the surgery since i can never really know if they kept the females out of the OR) Once I was out of surgery in post op i remember the female nurse trying to lift the blankets to place an ice pack on my groin instinctively i hit the blanket down and said NO (the first time i spoke since waking up) The doctor came over and told the nurse as he placed it from the other side. Not to expose the patient and if anything was needed that they were to call him to do it. I got dressed and moved to the discharge nurse, due to the type of surgery i was required to urinate prior to discharge, after being hounded, I finally had the urge, when i got up to go into the bathrom the female nurse tried to follow me into the bathroom, my brother (he is a BIG boy) kind of pushed his way in behind me this nurse was MAD she was huffing and puffing her attitude, and slammed the door shut. She looked back towards my bay where my mother was sitting watching the nurses behavior. the nurse was mumbling giving my mom dirty looks. I always get told "its just another body part its no big deal to us" but not one nurse can explain to me that if it is not a big deal to see it, why is it a big deal NOT to see it ? Email me if you guys have any questions so it can be posted I do want to share my story so others know they CAN stand up for themselves !

- Man Who Had Lump in Testicles From Las Vegas NV
Date Submitted: 12/3/2009

I asked prior to my surgery about a genital prep necessary for my case. The medical director and anesthesiologist told me my male surgeon would do "it" in the OR suite. I found out afterwards from my surgeon I was lied to and the normal policy and procedure was for the female circulating nurse does the shaving with an electric razor and picks up the hair with masking tape, then does the scrub for several minutes and then cleanses and dries the area and then drapes the patient. The prep not only includes the surgical site but the entire abdominal area and your penis and scrotal area. I was more than extremely angry as was my spouse. If I had been told the truth I would have cancelled the surgery altogether as it was elective. It is unbelievable that these people get away with this behavior and as a patient there is nothing one can do about it.

- A Man Who Had Genital Prep Before Surgery From west coast/USA
Date Submitted: 7/27/2009

My wife had a hysterectomy over a year ago. Her gynecologist is a female and per her request the assistant Surgeon was a female as well as the anesthetist and the circulation nurse. When my wife was taken to the OR (she was already drugged) quite to her surprise and disdain there was a male in scrubs in the room. We later found out that person was an OR Tech whose duties include preparing all supplies and the OR and handing the surgeon supplies (instruments) during surgery. For those who don't know what happens prior to surgery let me briefly explain. The patient is placed on the OR table and is anesthetized. For a vaginal hysterectomy the gown is removed or pulled up so far as to make it useless for privacy. The patient is then prepped, scrubbed from just below the breasts to the anus. This includes spreading the vagina and cleansing the inside. This is done while in the lithotomy position and everything spread wide for all to see. When complete the patient is left in that position and naked waiting for the surgeon. When the surgeon enters she, with the help of the OR Tech then place the sterile drapes on the patient covering all but the surgical site.

Needless to say, this is a very private and personally sensitive operation that I believe should be limited to female personnel only. That would have been our choice.

- Dave From USA
Date Submitted: 5/16/2009

I had knee surgery in March 2007 and they insisted that I was completely nude under my gown. I asked why I had to remove my underwear, and they bluntly said that the surgeon doesn't want to have to work around any clothing. It seemed like a lame reason to me, but they insisted, so it happened. I chose to remain awake during the surgery with a spinal, and I remember most everything that happened. Well, the gown was lifted several times, which exposed my penis to the room and I remember two of the female assistants checking me out at the end of the surgery while my knee was getting wrapped, and I could only lay there and let it all happen. The bad part about it is that I knew one of the girls through a mutual friend.

- Man Who Had Knee Surgery From USA
Date Submitted: 5/19/2009

A man went to a hospital to receive surgery for carpal-tunnel syndrome. He was told to remove all his clothing and don the ubiquitous gossamer-like hospital gown. He asked why he had to remove his underwear if the surgery was going to be on his wrist. He was told, "It's policy." He did not accept this explanation as legitimate and kept his underpants on. After he was anesthetized, his underpants were removed. A nurse brought them to the waiting room and in front of other people handed them over to his wife laughing as she proclaimed, "I think these belong to your husband."

- Man Who Had Carpal Tunnel Surgery From USA
Date Submitted: 5/26/2009

After 37 years of accepting that the Dr is always right I ran off 5 male student doctors who were gawking at my wife's nude body while the female nurses were dressing her. They didn't have the couth to turn their backs for even a moment. The medical need to know was on the monitors not on her hips and breast. In the next three days I had to run off two male nurses who tried to check my wife's ECG leads even though her chart and the room door plainly stated female personnel only. A male cardiologist made no attempt to drape my wife during a 45 minute test. By this time my wife became dissociative of the entire experience and remains so one year later. I had to force the operating room staff to use proper draping procedures. The only feed back I got was grunts and groans about the extra work. One female nurse privately said that she wished her husband loved her this much. I said that he does but that there are strong societal norms that people are afraid to break.

- A Man From USA
Date Submitted: 5/26/2009

I'm a survivor of a violent rape twelve years ago. A breast/pelvic exam is a genuine ordeal for me. I've been seeing the same doctor for the last five years; or rather I've mostly seen his PA, a very nice young lady who has always seemed concerned and caring. Mainly I've been seen for med checks because I take Zoloft, at the maximum dose, for PTSD. The PA knows this, and even though I am very reluctant to discuss details, she knows I have problems with being touched and with physical exams.

I was put in an exam room on a busy hallway. From its open door, there was a direct line of sight to the reception desk and anyone who might be standing there. The lab was just across from it, usually with several people waiting for patients loitering along it.

I was kept waiting for over an hour. Then the PA came in and said "Take it all off, top and bottom" and left. I had to sort through the folded stuff on the table to find what was supposed to be my gown, which turned out to be an open-front vest that barely came below my breasts. I was still struggling with it when the PA knocked, and when I said "Please help me with this" she opened the exam room door and immediately gave an exhibition of me nearly naked to several people who were standing at the desk talking to the receptionist.

For the record, I'm forty-two and I'm not attractive. I don't think that people are looking at me lustfully, or that there's any sexual component. The point is that I don't feel comfortable with people looking at me AT ALL especially men.

It was all downhill from there, really. There was an "assistant" in the room, a trainee nurse assistant I think, whose purpose didn't seem to extend to anything other than staring at me while I was on my back with my legs spread with one notable exception. I tried to hold a tiny paper sheet around me while the PA did the pelvic and gave me helpful advice like "Just breathe" and "A man must have invented this test, huh?" Midway through she realized that she didn't have everything she needed for the pap smear and so she asked the mouth-breathing tech to go get something for her from the next exam room. The tech flung the door wide open, and I got a nice view of a guy not six feet away standing in the hall, who got to see me covered by nothing but a scanty paper sheet.

When the pap smear was over, the PA said something about occult blood that I didn't catch, and pushed her finger in my rectum with no warning. When everything was finally over, the PA told the tech to give me some kleenex to "clean up with", and I was handed a wad of tissues to wipe myself while they both stood there and watched.

I cried from the time I left the exam room to my car. In my car I ended up hyperventilating until I had to open the door and vomit onto the parking lot. I'm still shaking as I write this. I was a piece of meat again, humiliated and ashamed. I have worked so hard to get past things and yet here I am again. I don't care if I get sick, I don't care if I die of cancer, no one's ever going to be able to do that to me again.

- Rape Victim From USA
Date Submitted: 5/26/2009



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