I entered St. Luke`s hospital for a follow-up angiogram. the previous angiogram was performed through my right wrist and it was determined by the nursing and physician staff that the same wrist could be prepped and used for this procedure. Upon entering the operating room (with 4-5 female nurses/technicians present). I was instructed to remove my underware (shorts). I protested since the procedure involved inserting the angiogram in my wrist. The nurse insisted that it was necessary if the wrist was found to be unacceptable by the surgeon, who had already examined and accepted my wrist. I protested again noting that I had suffered childhood trauma regarding exposing my genitals. The nurse insisted that it was necessary and now very embarrased, I removed my underwear from under my hospital gown. Once on the operating table, another tech lifted my gown and began shaving my groin area with my genitals completely exposed. She had to move my penis with the palm of her hand to complete her site prep. When finished, she pulled up my gown and left my genitals completely exposed to all nursing/tech staff in the room. It was humiliating. After about 5 minutes, of my lying there completely exposed, another tech placed a blue cloth over my genitals, then covered me with sterile sheeting. This was completely uncalled for and an unforgiveable violation of my privacy.

- RM From Stroudsburg, PA

I'm very well educated, but I'm also quite modest. Because my health is excellent, and because of my issues with modesty, I had not seen a gynecologist in over 20 years. My husband finally convinced me to see a doctor when my problems became severe. It turned out I needed a hysterectomy.

Before making the appointment with the female gynecological surgeon, I checked with the receptionist to make sure that the doctor had an all female practice. I was assured that she did--including nurses and assistants. I also told the person I thought would be assisting with the surgery that I wanted only females during the surgery.

About 10 minutes before surgery, I learned that not only would the anesthesiologist be male, so would the circulating nurse. I was mortified, but agreed to allow both because I thought I'd at least be awake for the prep. Besides, I knew that once I was out, I would have no control who saw what and I had better play nice or things might get really bad while I was out.

To be clear, both the anesthesiologist and nurse knew I was very concerned--my modesty concerns were no secret to anyone. As the two men entered the waiting area silently, I was talking to my husband with my head turned in the opposite direction of where they entered and of my IV. They were standing there for about 15 seconds when I suddenly realized they where handling my IV. I said, "please don't give me anything. I want to be aware so I know who's in the OR." The anesthesiologist said, "don't worry, we're taking care of you." That's the last thing I remember. I have no other memory for over 6 hours.

The day after the surgery, I saw the person who I thought was the assistant for the surgery. She told me and my husband that the surgery went well and gave me post-op instructions before I was released--she made no indication that she was not in the OR with me. As a matter of fact all her comments intentionally lead us to believe she had assisted the doctor.

Finally, a week after surgery, when I was still having trouble remembering things, I called the anesthesiologist to see why I couldn't even remember being taking into surgery, being prepped or when I was given anesthesia. He told me, "oh, that's probably the Versed I gave you in the waiting area." I was stunned. I reminded him that I had explicitly asked to NOT be drugged before entering the OR. He told me that they knew I'd object to the males in the room, so they gave me the Versed to "calm you down." I was mortified.

I then requested my records from the hospital and learned that the team was almost entirely male--including the assistant.

I called the surgeon whom I had trusted to try to make sense of what happened. Basically, she told me that all the men are "professionals" and that I shouldn't worry about what they did or saw--they do it all the time. Let's be clear about what they did and saw--they stripped me completely naked, spread my legs apart, put my legs into stirrups, scrubbed my body, cleaned my vagina, let me lay naked for at least an another 10 minutes while I dried, and inserted their fingers and other objects into my vagina, all without my explicit consent and after being rendered unconscious deceitfully and against my will. When I asked her why I wasn't informed that she replaced her normal assistant with a male, she in essence let me know it's not her responsibility to tell me who will be assisting or who is in the surgical area.

When I contacted the hospital to find out why, when 90% of all nurses are female, would they put males to assist for gynecological surgery, I was informed that gender does not matter, all nurses are professionals.

I pointed out to both the doctor and the hospital that not one OBGYN in the area has males assist when the patient is wake and that woman should be treated with the same level of respect when unconscious as they are when conscious. Both said that surgery is different--"that's why people are sedated." Hospitals/surgeons don't want patients to know what's happening during surgery--"it's not necessary. Most patients like you would just object, so sedation helps everyone."

Needless to say, I will never allow myself to be sedated again.

- Maggie From Utah

I had a testicular ultrasound done recently and asked for a male tech. I was told they employed none. Hearing that was disheartening as I value my modesty. I had little choice but to continue with the ultrasound as i was on their charity care program and could do little to protest. As i lay on that bed, I could only think of how pathetic my situation was. Laying on a table with my genitals exposed being probed by a female tech like a science experiment gone mad... There needs to be more male ultrasound technicians to save other men this indignity!

- Man who was shamed From USA

I am sharing this experience on behalf of my wife and she is fully aware of and has endorsed this submission. It seems that, in some circumstances, individual patient preference is immaterial. Respect for medical support staff based on blind trust of their technical qualifications at the expense of patient concerns to me, is paternalistic and misogynistic.  My wife recently was asked to obtain a echo stress test. After making the appointment three days prior, the appointment was yesterday. At the time of making the appointment and as a result of feeling uncomfortable being exposed to and touched by a male, my wife requested a female team do the stress echo test and was told that that would be fine. Upon arrival, there was 3 people present in the room; one female and 2 males. She was advised that the Dr would be present when the stress portion was completed. She indicated to the female present that she felt uncomfortable with the males in the room.  The female replied telling her that they were the only staff available and directed her to remove all of her clothing from the waist up and put a gown on (in full view of all in the room).  Again my wife stated that she didn't feel comfortable and at this point, one of the male technicians intervened. In an obvious attempt to relax my wife, he told her that she shouldn't be worried and that they see "boobies" all day long.  He then attempted to further explain that she shouldn't be 'relaxed' because when she was walking on the treadmill they would "flop all over the place" and that there was no way that the gown would "keep her covered". Rather than this providing any comfort to my wife, her anxiety levels increased significantly.    To her credit and at this point, she turned and walked out of the room. I was waiting in the waiting area for her and I could see that she was emotionally distressed. When she joined me, two of the people inside the room, one male and one female, approached us and spoke to my wife.  She said that she didn't want to have the test and the female, in a rather superior and mildly offensive manner, said that she was "just being silly" and suggested that she "stop wasting time".   At this point a Dr came forward and asked what the problem was.  My wife briefly explained the circumstance and he invited us both to return to the room (away from the Reception Area) and speak.  We did. Once in the room the Dr took a rather conciliatory approach (which was appropriate) and both my wife and I explained the background and she said that she felt very uncomfortable with the present circumstances.  The other 3 were standing observing the discussion. The Dr explained that they were all Medical Professionals and that the examination needed to be done and it was not possible for it to be an all female team. At this point I asked what aspect of professionalism dictated that a male should dismiss my wife's concerns out of hand by telling her that he sees 'boobies' all day long and that they would be 'flopping all over the place' while on the treadmill.  The Dr had no response to this at all - he just looked blankly at me. By this time my wife was quite distressed (not a good thing prior to a stress test I am sure) and I told all present that we were leaving and would seek another service provider to conduct the test.  Before we could leave, the male technician holding a series of leads stepped forward and addressed me in what I think was an attempt at an intimidating manner. With a very direct gaze he leaned forward and asked "What's the matter? Don't you trust us?". I responded with "no, not at all" and though he was quite taken aback by the answer, he mumbled something about my answer as being offensive and turned away. At this point, we left the room. Prior to leaving the office, the female that was present in the room followed us and before we could leave told us that we would be required to pay the $650 for the test even though we didn't have the test done. I told her that, as my wife had explained her expectations three days prior to the appointment, had been told that those expectations would be met and that they had now changed, we would not be paying for the appointment and that I would be lodging a complaint with the appropriate Medical Authorities. Since leaving, my wife has had a phone call from another Dr (presumably someone in charge) apologising for the experience and magnanimously 'waiving the fee'.  He also suggested in very forceful terms that lodging a complaint would be counter-productive and a waste of time. The complaint has been lodged. Based on this experience, I have to say that I am disillusioned with the professionalism, people-skills and due care and concern displayed by these people. I understand that in a life threatening situation the people trained to give treatment will be any gender and focussed on delivering life saving intervention. I support this without question.  What I do not support is that, for an exploratory examination that is non-life threatening, the wishes, preferences and concerns of the patient are immaterial, insignificant and dismissed out of hand. For whatever reason, if a patient makes certain requests, then that patient should be listened to, the requests addressed and if the requests are not possible, a full explanation provided as to why the expectations cannot be met.  To disregard a patient's concerns as "just being silly" is offensive, derogatory and supercilious.   I am very angry about this experience and my wife is still somewhat distressed. As a result, I have lost complete faith in medical support services, ultrasound technicians and specialist providers. In a life threatening situation and for myself, I will accept whatever treatment is offered. However, based on this exchange, I will be loath to seek preventative intervention and or testing and that is a shame, sad and disappointing - but it is the way that I now feel.

- Rose From Australia

Several years ago, I was referred to the OBGYN department of the local hospital due to a late-term pregnancy complication (gestational diabetes). The young female doctor was ferrying around some useless students. Students should be professional too! However, they were apparently following the example of this doctor. She seemed more interested in amusing them than in assisting me. After a perfunctory, uncomfortable examination, I was asked, "What drugs are you taking to stay skinny for your boyfriend?" I was shocked and embarrassed. I was also very scared and very pregnant, with persistent morning sickness and the added complication of the dietary restrictions imposed when you have GD. I reported her comment as inappropriate (the director of nursing agreed), and was told that I would not have to see this particular physician again. Skip forward a few months: 42 weeks pregnant and in labor. Same hospital. My favorite doctor walks in. I asked her to leave. She said no. I tell her I've reported her. She tells me she is the only doctor on the floor. I ask for a different floor. She proceeds to try and examine me while we are having this conversation. I asked her to get her hands off of me. We finally agree to disagree. She quickly examines me again, and then announces that I am not even halfway to delivery and to WALK to the lab to have blood drawn. I complained of painful contractions making it too difficult to walk and was told that, "I doesn't hurt that bad. Hurry up." I was crying and being dragged down the hallway, firmly, by one of my arms. Every time I stopped to get my breath during a contraction, I was reprimanded and told that I was being dramatic about the pain. Before we even reached the lab, I was announcing that I had the urge to push. The nurse told me, "You don't know what you're feeling- you're not ready yet." She believed me about 30 seconds later when my son was born. I had previously done my birth plan with them including holding him and breastfeeding, but he was taken away for several hours and bottle fed. Less than five minutes after this traumatic birth in the lab, I was directed to urinate on cue. I protested, so the same nurse who would not heed my concerns earlier, proceeded to catheterize me against my stated wishes, while remarking and gesturing to another woman in the room (of unknown use), "This is so hard right after a birth- nothing looks the same down here!" Wow! Of course, I ended up with a nasty UTI (first and only.) I filed several formal complaints with the hospital administration. For my trouble, I was sent a nice letter that firstly apologized and secondly asked for me to sign a form stating that I would not sue the hospital. It was heartbreaking. I desperately wish I could change the whole scenario. Please, ladies, PLEASE, at least visit a birthing center before letting physicians convince you that hospital births are the only route. Don't let doctors bulldoze you and bring REINFORCEMENTS. DO NOT GO ALONE. No matter how large or small the procedure, it is important to have a friend or family member with you, who knows your wishes, and who you can trust to advocate for you!

- Wendy From NC

I am a disabled male who went to the hospital for a heart cath, I told my doctor that I was very modest and didn't want a female nurse taking care of me. Yet when I went to the Cath lab there were several women around and one male nurse who did the prep work. Then when I went back to the room the nurses were all female and when I objected I was told that there were no male nurses on the floor, I objected to them checking the site and so then they made it their objective to do everything that they could to ridicule me, embarrass me, leaving me exposed to the hall ( uncovered on the bed so everyone walking down the hall) they laughed and giggled. I even heard one of them say that will teach him who is in charge, My wife would cover me and tried to keep my body covered. i complained to the hospital and all they did was call me a liar. The nurses from that floor were moved but I found that out later from the doctor when I told him. I had to go to er for a catheter being clogged a male nurse did the uncloging but when it came time to have the leg bag put on a female nurse came in and told me it was her turn to look at it. I told her no I would leave before that would happen. when she left she said before it got done I would call her to do it. I told her I would just leave first. I did just that after she left the rooom I got up and dressed then left and contacted the hospital about this mess and told my Dr about that I havent been back to that hospital. I would drive the 120 miles to another town first. Those female nurses never even got talked to about the situation. I even reported this to the Nursing board of Texas the didnt even do anything. If any of this had been done to a female by a male nurse they would have gone to jail, let alone lost their license.

- j freer From Paris, TX

Just a few months ago, I had been violated by an ex boyfriend. It had been 3 days since the incident happened, and when I noticed that I was still having trouble, I decided that I needed medical help. I attempted to be seen by a nurse in a nearby small town who I knew well enough to feel comfortable with. She couldn't see me because my injuries fell outside of her jurisdiction, so she wrote me a referral to the ER. I had gone to one hospital in the area and I walked right out REALLY upset that THEY HAD NO FEMALE DOCTORS! So then I went to a different hospital that had female doctors on staff. I had to wait much longer (over 3 hours) because I was so "picky" in my demands for what gender my doctor had to be. When I finally got in, they put me into a room with nothing but a curtain to separate me from all the people in the hallway. They had to do a pelvic exam to assess the damage, and when they did I REQUESTED that they put me in a room with a door where it would be private, but they told me they couldn't. I had to lay on a bedpan, listening to male voices with 2 females in the room and a male holding the curtain and standing outside to make sure no one pulled the curtain open (and how do I know if he's looking at me or not?) They had to give me a shot of advant because I was freaking out with a bad anxiety attack. I told the doctors about my history of sexual abuse, but I guess it made no difference. I notice that every time I go to any doctor's office that does OB/GYN, there's either a camera in the room (angled right at the woman's exposed body), or a window with open blinds- things that really exploit a woman's sense of privacy to her own body. It makes me so disgusted at the medical field.

- Jennifer T. From USA

I am a female veteran. I was diagnosed with breast cancer (female veterans are diagnosed with breast cancer at twice the rate of non-veterans). I was scheduled for a mastectomy and GYN surgery on the same day. Due to awareness of research proven male propensity to rape, the intimate nature of the surgeries, modesty and privacy concerns, I requested an all female team. I was lied to, manipulated, and abused. The surgeries who I was told would be performed by particular experienced faculty were assigned to interns supervised by a resident. No effort was made to restrict the gender of providers, just to hide them from me. In spite of being told before and after the surgery that no males were present, medical records indicate that a male intern performed the surgery, a male circulating nurse was present as was a male anesthesia nurse. I am sure other male students were in the room as well. In response to my complaints, I have suffered having my medical records and care sabataged, suffered abusive violent comments and responses to my complaints, a refusal to hand over all my medical records, and threats that the V.A. will retalitate by attacking my diabled husband if I go though with my lawsuit.

- MC From Oregon

My husband had surgery recently on his hand. He was asked to only wear a gown and his cotton socks. He obliged. He woke up during the surgery, and found that he was completely naked. uncovered, and cold for the hand surgery. When the surgery was completed, they put the gown back on. Had he not awakened during the surgery, he nor I would have ever known. It appears to have no reason. There was an all-male staff in the operating room with him.

- Beth From Oklahoma

A very pleasant, likeable, and religious congregant, found himself in the hospital, for a prolonged period, later to die. His recurring conversation with me, over the course of my many pastoral visits, was his resistance to female nurses inserting foley catheters, giving him complete body baths, and then dressing him. Disclosing that he could accept the immense physical pain foisted on him, and that he was prepared for death, this sheep of my flock related that the most difficult problem of his entire life, was this issue of frontal nudity before strange women! It was foreign to his life experience. "It's not right!" was his plea. His tearful eyes looked to me for counsel. The only consolation this veteran clergy provided him, that if I were in his shoes, my feelings would be identical to his own!

The female nurses told this suffering, dying patient, "You don't have anything we've never seen before!" "Don't worry about it, we do this all the time!" and "You'll get over it!" If a male nurse said anything like this to a female patient, he would be suspended, fired, his license revoked, or possibly face a law-suit!

After this man's funeral, his family divulged that he had brought up the same subject with them on repeated occasions. No one stepped to the plate for this righteous man! He died without dignity, robbed of safe-guarding his manhood from the gaze and touch of "care-givers"!

Rabbi Hillel said:"If I am not for me--then who is? And if I am only for me--what am I?" Apparently, I was not for this hurting guy! I will carry to my own grave, this dereliction of duty, failing to offer any kind of intervention to resolve this anguish for a brother in the Lord, whose commitment to the faith and morality may have eclipsed my own!

The following year, I did walk a mile in my congregant's mocassins. I had out-patient surgery for a left inguinal hernia, at an out-of-town hospital. From the moment my name was called out from the waiting area, until release hours later, I encountered twenty hospital staff, only one of whom was a male--the surgeon. I had indecencies tossed at me, which I regard as a violation of my spiritual consecration, personal privacy, and dignity as a man. An old man was in the cubicle next to me, awaiting an operation. His wife was in the enclosure with him. This fellow was to receive a foley catheter to be inserted by two female nurses--something which both his wife and he greeted with alarm! I have no way of knowing how the stalemate was resolved. I believe that Divine Providence placed me as a patient in the OR, permitted to be demeaned by female medical workers, in order to experience firsthandedly, some of the vexation of my departed church member. As I enter the last quarter of my life, I resolve to become an advocate for patient modesty, for others and myself. In and out of hospitals and nursing homes, numerous times each week, for over 37 years, if I were to make a print-out of disregard by the institutions, I could wall-paper the Sistene Chapel! Without names, places, and dates with this statement, and providing it anonymously, I believe that I am not breaking expected pastor/parishioner confidentiality. Knowing the heart of my late church member, he would want his story to be told, if it were to benefit others! Thank you. Rev. Fred, Protestant Pastor

- Rev. Fred From Pennsylvania

I started having pain in the testicles, i figured i sat down to fast and injured myself, upon doing the self-exam i noticed a lump. I went to my primary care doctor, the medical assistant wanted to know the exact reason, I told her "non specific male issues" she did not like this. Once the doctor finally checked he ordered a STAT testicular ultrasound. I called to book the test, i was told my techs name, she was obviously female, i asked for a male tech, i was denied as they didnt employee male ultrasound techs, I refused to be exposed infront of any females. I was then lectured to why i was discriminating competent females. After HOURS of this, i was told that they refuse to test me and to call my health insurance company. I called the insurance company and they were upset at the radiology dept. within a hour they found a male tech to do the test. I was told by the radiology dept, that it was not right for me to request "special accomidations". I got the male tech, he told me that he was there every friday and that i was lucky as most of the women do the testicular ultrasounds, but he wasnt allowed to do the female ultrasounds Hmm double standard. I got sent to urology where the female medical assistant was trying to get me to change infront of her, when i didnt i was treated badly, i heard them breaking hippa laws etc for other patients I spoke up and was ridiculed further. It got so bad i called my insurance company. They again were mad! They took care of the ridicule but my appointments suddenly got canceled and messages werent delivered to my doctor. Finally after id guess 4 months i finally got booked for surgery since all other attempts to cure failed. I asked the doctor if they could have a all male team he agreed and said it wasnt a problem. When I spoke to the urologist surgery scheduling dept, they were told as well, No females, they agreed and even told the surgical center numerous times. I called the surgical center I was told they knew about it and it wasnt a problem my account would be flagged and that i wasnt to worry about it, this was 2 months before surgery. The Friday prior i was called for my pre-op interview, i told them again all males NO females. they agreed they had males scheduled. I showed up and was treated BADLY by the first female nurse she was so insistant that my brother couldnt be back with me (in my own curtained off area) to protect my privacy, I took him back and he was in the curtain when i was undressing to keep the female nurse out as she already got me upset numerous times. She told me she was required to help me undress if needed not a family member I told her NOT to come in or surgery would be canceled. This made her extremely upset and started to ridicule me. She even got her co-worker in on it. I told them to go get my nurse she said she was my nurse. I told her I was told i would have all male nurses, this set her off, she went on a "Females are better than any male" rant and then tried to Lift my surgical gown saying she had to check, i stopped her and demanded my doctor, she started ranting that i was a chovinist pig and that she had to get the "female charge nurse" and i would just have to "deal with a female in charge" The charge nurse came over and i was told there was NO male nurses and that she was only told about it the friday prior. She was extremely nice and appologized several times. She bent over backward to get male techs for my surgery and I had to comprimise on female nurses outside the OR with the extreme rule no female shall be present while im exposed they agreed. The surgery went as scheduled. ( i have a extreme feeling they brought in females anyway i should have just canceled it and stayed in pain indefinatly as the thought of being exposed is still giving me nightmares about the surgery since i can never really know if they kept the females out of the OR) Once I was out of surgery in post op i remember the female nurse trying to lift the blankets to place an ice pack on my groin instinctively i hit the blanket down and said NO (the first time i spoke since waking up) The doctor came over and told the nurse as he placed it from the other side. Not to expose the patient and if anything was needed that they were to call him to do it. I got dressed and moved to the discharge nurse, due to the type of surgery i was required to urinate prior to discharge, after being hounded, I finally had the urge, when i got up to go into the bathrom the female nurse tried to follow me into the bathroom, my brother (he is a BIG boy) kind of pushed his way in behind me this nurse was MAD she was huffing and puffing her attitude, and slammed the door shut. She looked back towards my bay where my mother was sitting watching the nurses behavior. the nurse was mumbling giving my mom dirty looks. I always get told "its just another body part its no big deal to us" but not one nurse can explain to me that if it is not a big deal to see it, why is it a big deal NOT to see it ? Email me if you guys have any questions so it can be posted I do want to share my story so others know they CAN stand up for themselves !

- Man Who Had Lump in Testicles From Las Vegas NV

I asked prior to my surgery about a genital prep necessary for my case. The medical director and anesthesiologist told me my male surgeon would do "it" in the OR suite. I found out afterwards from my surgeon I was lied to and the normal policy and procedure was for the female circulating nurse does the shaving with an electric razor and picks up the hair with masking tape, then does the scrub for several minutes and then cleanses and dries the area and then drapes the patient. The prep not only includes the surgical site but the entire abdominal area and your penis and scrotal area. I was more than extremely angry as was my spouse. If I had been told the truth I would have cancelled the surgery altogether as it was elective. It is unbelievable that these people get away with this behavior and as a patient there is nothing one can do about it.

- A Man Who Had Genital Prep Before Surgery From west coast/USA

My wife had a hysterectomy over a year ago. Her gynecologist is a female and per her request the assistant Surgeon was a female as well as the anesthetist and the circulation nurse. When my wife was taken to the OR (she was already drugged) quite to her surprise and disdain there was a male in scrubs in the room. We later found out that person was an OR Tech whose duties include preparing all supplies and the OR and handing the surgeon supplies (instruments) during surgery. For those who don't know what happens prior to surgery let me briefly explain. The patient is placed on the OR table and is anesthetized. For a vaginal hysterectomy the gown is removed or pulled up so far as to make it useless for privacy. The patient is then prepped, scrubbed from just below the breasts to the anus. This includes spreading the vagina and cleansing the inside. This is done while in the lithotomy position and everything spread wide for all to see. When complete the patient is left in that position and naked waiting for the surgeon. When the surgeon enters she, with the help of the OR Tech then place the sterile drapes on the patient covering all but the surgical site.

Needless to say, this is a very private and personally sensitive operation that I believe should be limited to female personnel only. That would have been our choice.

- Dave From USA

I had knee surgery in March 2007 and they insisted that I was completely nude under my gown. I asked why I had to remove my underwear, and they bluntly said that the surgeon doesn't want to have to work around any clothing. It seemed like a lame reason to me, but they insisted, so it happened. I chose to remain awake during the surgery with a spinal, and I remember most everything that happened. Well, the gown was lifted several times, which exposed my penis to the room and I remember two of the female assistants checking me out at the end of the surgery while my knee was getting wrapped, and I could only lay there and let it all happen. The bad part about it is that I knew one of the girls through a mutual friend.

- Man Who Had Knee Surgery From USA

A man went to a hospital to receive surgery for carpal-tunnel syndrome. He was told to remove all his clothing and don the ubiquitous gossamer-like hospital gown. He asked why he had to remove his underwear if the surgery was going to be on his wrist. He was told, "It's policy." He did not accept this explanation as legitimate and kept his underpants on. After he was anesthetized, his underpants were removed. A nurse brought them to the waiting room and in front of other people handed them over to his wife laughing as she proclaimed, "I think these belong to your husband."

- Man Who Had Carpal Tunnel Surgery From USA

After 37 years of accepting that the Dr is always right I ran off 5 male student doctors who were gawking at my wife's nude body while the female nurses were dressing her. They didn't have the couth to turn their backs for even a moment. The medical need to know was on the monitors not on her hips and breast. In the next three days I had to run off two male nurses who tried to check my wife's ECG leads even though her chart and the room door plainly stated female personnel only. A male cardiologist made no attempt to drape my wife during a 45 minute test. By this time my wife became dissociative of the entire experience and remains so one year later. I had to force the operating room staff to use proper draping procedures. The only feed back I got was grunts and groans about the extra work. One female nurse privately said that she wished her husband loved her this much. I said that he does but that there are strong societal norms that people are afraid to break.

- A Man From USA

I'm a survivor of a violent rape twelve years ago. A breast/pelvic exam is a genuine ordeal for me. I've been seeing the same doctor for the last five years; or rather I've mostly seen his PA, a very nice young lady who has always seemed concerned and caring. Mainly I've been seen for med checks because I take Zoloft, at the maximum dose, for PTSD. The PA knows this, and even though I am very reluctant to discuss details, she knows I have problems with being touched and with physical exams.

I was put in an exam room on a busy hallway. From its open door, there was a direct line of sight to the reception desk and anyone who might be standing there. The lab was just across from it, usually with several people waiting for patients loitering along it.

I was kept waiting for over an hour. Then the PA came in and said "Take it all off, top and bottom" and left. I had to sort through the folded stuff on the table to find what was supposed to be my gown, which turned out to be an open-front vest that barely came below my breasts. I was still struggling with it when the PA knocked, and when I said "Please help me with this" she opened the exam room door and immediately gave an exhibition of me nearly naked to several people who were standing at the desk talking to the receptionist.

For the record, I'm forty-two and I'm not attractive. I don't think that people are looking at me lustfully, or that there's any sexual component. The point is that I don't feel comfortable with people looking at me AT ALL especially men.

It was all downhill from there, really. There was an "assistant" in the room, a trainee nurse assistant I think, whose purpose didn't seem to extend to anything other than staring at me while I was on my back with my legs spread with one notable exception. I tried to hold a tiny paper sheet around me while the PA did the pelvic and gave me helpful advice like "Just breathe" and "A man must have invented this test, huh?" Midway through she realized that she didn't have everything she needed for the pap smear and so she asked the mouth-breathing tech to go get something for her from the next exam room. The tech flung the door wide open, and I got a nice view of a guy not six feet away standing in the hall, who got to see me covered by nothing but a scanty paper sheet.

When the pap smear was over, the PA said something about occult blood that I didn't catch, and pushed her finger in my rectum with no warning. When everything was finally over, the PA told the tech to give me some kleenex to "clean up with", and I was handed a wad of tissues to wipe myself while they both stood there and watched.

I cried from the time I left the exam room to my car. In my car I ended up hyperventilating until I had to open the door and vomit onto the parking lot. I'm still shaking as I write this. I was a piece of meat again, humiliated and ashamed. I have worked so hard to get past things and yet here I am again. I don't care if I get sick, I don't care if I die of cancer, no one's ever going to be able to do that to me again.

- Rape Victim From USA